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A play collar – should it be returned by the submissive at the end of the play or can she use it for playing with others at a BDSM play party? Does it show commitment for the night or further? What if a submissive at a fetish party took my play collar and ventured on to play with someone else afterwards, would I be ok to retrieve my collar?
I’ve never even come across the concept of a ‘play collar’ before, so it’s far from a universal etiquette.
That said, if someone is wearing or using anything you own, I would have thought it was basic manners to give it back or let you know where it is before you have to leave, and if I were the second Dom I probably would have been a bit flustered too, ’cause he presumably had no idea the collar was yours, and therefore wouldn’t know if you were her Dom de-collaring her for playing with him, or whether she was supposed to be wearing your collar at all etc (aside from having someone interrupt the scene in the first place).
Not saying you were wrong to retrieve your property though – IMHO she put both you and the other top in a bit of an embarrassing situation by not thinking about the fact you might have to leave before she was done.
Photo by The Pain Files
I’m still reeling from the discovery of the concept of a play collar LOL
I can’t quite get my head around it. However you look at it, and whatever it means to you, isn’t a collar basically a symbol of some level of commitment?
I have no problem with the idea of a play collar, but I’m kinda baffled at what the point could be.
Taking On A Sub To Do Housework? Could it be done to save on cleaning and still please the sub?
Yes, part of what’s great about being in a relationship or having close emotional ties with others is that you can help each other in difficult times.
Yes, if one of those partners happens to get off on day to day service it comes in handy.
But as others have pointed out, to take on a sub in order to get stuff done for free would be a desperately false economy in terms of time, effort, emotions, and probably even finance (depending on relative situations)
What if the sadist looses the inclination to inflict pain ?
I’ve experienced periods (sometimes long periods) where, while I’m still intellectually interested in SM, I just haven’t been able to face actually running a scene. The culprits in my case have generally been worries, stress, tiredness or depression – basically the pressures of life getting in the way – and it’s never really been about my relationship or partners.
So bearing that in mind, I kinda like the suggestion of playful aggression. Since you say the vanilla side of your sex life is fine, maybe try rolling on top and holding his hands down or something. Pretty sure that’d work to kick me back into taking control TBH